"I don't want this to feel like a funeral." - Michael Jordan

"A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." - Confucius

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

"The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie" - Ann Landers

"People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Sports is like a war without the killing." - Ted Turner

"The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend." - Chuck Palahniuk

"Time is not measured by the passing of years but by what one does, what one feels, and what one achieves." - Jawaharlal Nehru

"I have heard a lot of people do 'Nip/Tuck' weekend marathons where they'll watch the whole season in one weekend, ... Personally, I find that very depressing." - Julian McMahon

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." - Albert Einstein

"Babies have big heads and big eyes, and tiny little bodies with tiny little arms and legs. So did the aliens at Roswell! I rest my case." - William Shatner

"There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly." - Antisthenes

"Funerals are all abstract ceremony." - Chuck Palahniuk

"The horizon leans forward, offering you space to place new steps of change." - Maya Angelou

"Some people's idea of [free speech] is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage." - Winston Churchill

"If you love large, you've got to hurt large. If you've got a lot of light, you've probably got an equal amount of darkness." - Sarah McLachlan

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way." - Pablo Neruda

"There is still no cure for the common birthday." - John Glenn

"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot

"If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love." - Michel de Montaigne

"Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless." - Bill Watterson

"A speech is like a love affair. Any fool can start it, but to end it requires considerable skill." - Lord Mansfield

"The most dangerous food is wedding cake" - James Thurber

"The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships." - Anthony Robbins

"No one likes change but babies in diapers" - Barbara Johnson

"He who comes for the inheritance is often made to pay for the funeral" - Yiddish Proverb

"Are we not like two volumes of one book?" - Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

"There are only two people who can tell you the truth about yourself - an enemy who has lost his temper and a friend who loves you dearly." - Antisthenes

"There is a good reason they call these ceremonies 'commencement exercises'. Graduation is not the end, it's the beginning." - Orrin Hatch

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them." - Ogden Nash

"The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income." - George Foreman

"When you make a sacrifice in marriage, you're sacrificing not to each other but to unity in a relationship." - Joseph Campbell

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

"Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth." - Mark Twain

"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." - African Proverb

"If you're here for inspiration, you're too late. If you're here for the funeral, you're too early." - Will & Grace

"Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude." - William James

"Whenever you have truth it must be given with love, or the message and the messenger will be rejected" - Mahatma Gandhi

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." - Albert Einstein

"Oh! how many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring." - Colley Cibber

"Wedding is destiny, And hanging likewise" - Proverb

"To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world." - Brandi Snyder

"Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth." - Mark Twain

"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." - Abe Lemons

"Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one's own - brightened the world as if a second sun has risen." - Robert Lynd

"A friendship that can end never really began" - Publilius Syrus

"Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret." - Dr. Laurence J. Peter

"Life is too short to be small." - Benjamin Disraeli

"For me to say this is an important weekend for us would be an understatement," - Jamie McMurray

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau

"Nobody can hurt me without my permission." - Mahatma Gandhi

"Our anniversary is a time to look back at the good times and a time to look ahead to live our dreams together." - Catherine Pulsifer

"It's a tremendous chance and opportunity. That doesn't mean we're getting everyone out by next weekend." - John Walsh

"I have now got a bombproof shelter [the Continent] into which I retire when I sniff the coming portrait or its trajectory." - John Singer Sargent

"Games lubricate the body and the mind." - Benjamin Franklin

"Babies are such a nice way to start people" - Don Herold

"Funerals are pretty compared to death" - Tennessee Williams

"There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave." - Dale Carnegie

"Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer." - Andy Warhol

"We are injured and hurt emotionally, Not so much by other people or what they say and don't say, But by our own attitude and our own response." - Maxwell Maltz

"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." - Yogi Berra

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." - Maya Angelou

"(That weekend) is my birthday weekend. One of my staff reminded me this morning. I've just been so focused on Decatur and Dodge City, I forgot about it." - Gloria Davis

"Musicians don't retire; they stop when there's no more music in them." - Louis Armstrong

"Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be." - Karen Ravn

"Oh! how many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring." - Colley Cibber

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

"Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday." - Stephen Wright

"Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." - Nelson Mandela

"Golf is a good walk spoiled." - Mark Twain

"Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either." - Albert Einstein

"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies." - Pietro Aretino

"A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions." - Confucius

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

"The horizon leans forward, offering you space to place new steps of change." - Maya Angelou

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

"They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days." - Garrison Keillor

"If you love large, you've got to hurt large. If you've got a lot of light, you've probably got an equal amount of darkness." - Sarah McLachlan

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." - Jalal ad-Din Rumi

"Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose." - Tennessee Williams

"The man loves danger and sport. That is why he loves woman, the most dangerous of all sports." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"Here's to the stork that brings good babies, the raven that brings bad babies, and to the Swallow...that brings No babies." - Anonymous Toast

"For retirement brings repose, and repose allows a kindly judgment of all things." - John Sharp Williams

"Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times." - Helen Rowland

"People say they love truth, but in reality they want to believe that which they love is true." - Robert J. Ringer

"We're only a weekend through this and it feels like a month. But we're doing fine." - Joe Peel

"Beat your wife on the wedding day, and your married life will be happy" - Japanese Proverb

"You are the embodiment of the information you choose to accept and act upon. To change your circumstances you need to change your thinking and subsequent actions." - Adlin Sinclair

"The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." - Elisabeth Foley

"A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife" - Edgar Watson Howe

"Fear is the question. Love is the answer." - Rain Bojangles

"There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave." - Dale Carnegie

"The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead." - Samuel Goldwyn

"Our dog died from licking our wedding picture" - Phyllis Diller

"The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain." - Jennifer Aniston

"Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them." - John Shirley

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." - Albert Einstein

"That place is my baby and I would prostitute myself for it" - Walt Disney

"Go for it now. The future is promised to no one." - Wayne Dyer

"Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth." - Mark Twain

"I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the ultimate champion." - Mia Hamm

If you spend all day looking in the past then don't be suprised when life hits you in the back of the head. - James Yager

A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy. - Friedrich Nietzsche

One Must not Trifle with Love. - Alfred De Musset

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the and the blind can see - Mark Twain

“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”